Krypteria - My Fatal Kiss (2009)

Krypteria - My Fatal Kiss

Back during my college years, a guy I knew used to pose nude at the university’s art class for some extra cash. I remember asking him if he ever worried about entering the classroom in his bathrobe and running into girls (and guys) from some of his other classes sitting there front and center ready to scrutinize his male appendage, or if he worried about getting an itch or a cramp while he sat or stood there posing. He replied that he wasn’t concerned about any potential events like that, and had no issues with classmates checking out his privates either.

But there was one lurking fear that would sometimes keep him on edge in a state of tension and anxiety. This potential situation that nude male models apparently dread, is, as he called it, the inadvertent testicular shift. The penis could be hanging straight and proud, and yet, without any provocation or physical movement on the model’s part, the left testicle would suddenly saunter forward to proclaim its existence to the young artists. This would cause the penis to sway dramatically to the right, changing the pose and overall image the entire classroom was focused on. There would be giggles, but even more importantly there would be mutters of annoyance and dismay from those who were currently drawing or adding shadow and highlights to that particular region and had to start from scratch or somehow salvage what they had through memory. This shifting of the nuts seems to occur at any random time without warning, an occurrence unnoticed by most men, but for those few who pose naked in complete stillness in front of the perceptive and analyzing eyes of art students, it is the nightmare of nightmares.

I would consider My Fatal Kiss to be Krypteria’s testicular shift after a solid effort in Bloodangel’s Cry. From the cover sleeve alone it was pretty obvious that the band were aiming for a larger market. Seeing Ji-In Cho’s “American Beauty” pose (lying down naked with flowers covering her “fun spots”) behind the actual disc in the casing was groovy, but the blatancy of the visual marketing tactics had me worried that the musical output would be compromised to saccharine and more commercial leanings. That did turn out to be the case. Their previous album was not some extreme cult monster by any means, but for My Fatal Kiss the focus was obviously weighted towards the bastardized “gothic” tag than the power metal elements that made Bloodangel’s Cry an entertaining experience. Still, it’s not a terrible release, as if the aforementioned nude model suddenly pissed all over his own legs, and I genuinely really dig a couple of the tracks. Yet the ball shift is there, and in the end it really didn’t propel the band to stardom anyhow.

The shift is most notable in the songwriting itself. The opening track begins with a sort of lunkhead riff that aspiring metal guitarists would randomly stumble upon just after purchasing their first axe. The song improves as it progresses with some double bass pedaling during the chorus, yet the sluggish pace combined with the super polished production yields little in the sense of any actual energy or spirit except for Cho’s repeated orgasmic wailing of the word “WHY!” before the final chorus, which was sweet. Signed to Roadrunner at this point, the production quality is a technical improvement over their earlier material, with a much heavier drum sound and a crisp vocal track. There’s also a fair bit of studio trickery on some occasions, adding a bit of an industrial slant that doesn’t add much except for giving the album a slick, overtly sterile aura. Choirs are still utilized, and they sound a bit tighter this time around. I guess they decided to rehearse a bit this time.

The first half of this opus doesn’t really bother me at all. Yes, it’s a dip in quality somewhat from the better portions of their last full length, but it’s still pleasant enough. The title track has a nice chorus, but the nu-metal meets goth approach to the main riffs sounds like catering towards whoever thinks Lacuna Coil sounds better now than they did back in the early days. “Deny” is a fast number, really the only one that screams ‘power metal’ from the get-go. The double bass pedaling is an example of a great mixing job. It’s strong and defined, yet earthy and organic in sound. The one-two punch of killer tracks starts with that number and ends with “The Freak In Me”, which has this simple yet fantastic and memorable riff that reminds me of early 80’s Judas Priest. The chorus is catchy, the atmospheric break in the middle actually works, and the lyrics are entertaining and sung like she means it. Ji-In Cho needs to free the freak in her more often.

Then the sudden testicular shift occurs, causing the shaft to suddenly swing comically to the side as the right gonad rolls back to nudge the ass. Like the album as a whole compared to Bloodangel’s Cry, it’s not a complete quality nosedive, but it’s enough to cause an annoyance, specifically considering the reasonable level of enjoyment I was getting from the previous songs. I don’t wish to get too detailed in discussing the rest of the album, but these songs are either inferior versions of the first batch of tunes or just toss-offs in general. “Never Say Die” is almost a complete clone of the poppish and stupidly catchy “For You I’ll Bring The Devil Down” but without the hook, and “Shoot Me” is a heinous revamped version of the title track with its baseball cap angled even further sideways. Borderline atrocious. I’ll give the full-fledged ballad “God I Need Someone” slight credit though for being kind of cute, in that I feel as if I’m reading some teenage girly novel while it’s playing. I’m not the target audience but I do think she deserves a snuggle after singing it. Other tracks concerning the latter half of the album do little for me, including “Now”, which is an uplifting “We must stand up and fight against…err…stuff!” generic message twaddle. My version of the CD unfortunately lacks the two bonus tracks found in other versions, so for all I know the metaphorical balls nestle back into a side by side formation for these final numbers.

It’s not a terrible effort, and I give it a spin on occasion, mainly for the genuinely glorious “The Freak In Me”. Still, it didn’t seem to please those looking for faster and more power-related material, and the pop masses didn’t catch the ‘fatal kiss fever’ either. As a result, the band reverted to Bloodangel’s formula for their next album (All Beauty Must Die), which, despite lacking a sexy cover, turned out to be a nice surprise. It was almost like having Krypteria’s vocalist walk into the art classroom in a bathrobe a week after I had to draw my friend’s dick. Actually, not that dramatic a rebound, but the lack of explosive commercial success for My Fatal Kiss might have done them a favor in the end.

copas from http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Krypteria/My_Fatal_Kiss/243666/

Tracklist:
01. "Ignition" 04:46
02. "My Fatal Kiss" 03:08
03. "Why (Did You Stop The World From Turning)" 06:04
04. "For You I'll Bring The Devil Down" 03:32
05. "Deny" 04:55
06. "The Freak In Me" 05:38
07. "Never Say Die" 04:34
08. "Dying To Love" 03:13
09. "Shoot Me" 03:40
10. "God I Need Someone" 03:42
11. "Now (Start Spreading The Word)" 04:35
12. "Head First Into A Sea Of Flames" (Bonus Track) 04:00
13. "Too Late, Game Over and Goodbye" (Bonus Track) 04:09

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